Tuesday, January 8, 2013

On my mat

2013 is going to be a challenging, empowering, transformative year for me. Why? It’s exciting even writing this next sentence….I am going to be a yoga teacher!

To be honest, my stomach is in knots, my palms are sweaty, and I am nervous, to say the least.

And beyond excited! The 200 hour teacher training program happens in my most beloved town…Beaufort. Saturday morning, while Wills and I were spending the weekend away, I drove in from Land’s End and took a morning class with Shelley, the owner and founder of Dancing Dog Yoga and the co-leader of this teacher training program. As I drove over the bridge, the morning sun sparkled on the water; I stared in awe at the beauty of the anchored sailboats, rolled down my window, took a deep breath of salt air and knew I was doing exactly what I needed to be doing. The studio is gorgeous, the fellow teacher trainees I met were incredibly nice and welcoming, and I had a comforting presence of contentment and serenity.

The details may be a little hairy. I will be spending one long weekend a month away from my family. The financial commitment is not small. And my arms still shake in a long Downward facing Dog. But, I feel like I’m ready, right now, to go for it. If I wait for the “right” time to be away, spend money, or improve my practice, I will be waiting forever. So NOW is the time; I’m not looking back.

I couldn’t do this without William’s support, and I am so thankful he is on board and encouraging me to take this leap. However, he still cracks jokes (all. the. time.) about yoga, and I’m okay with that. I’m working on him. :)

Shelley’s words really hit home Saturday morning: What would you do if you knew you would not fail? And what are you waiting for?

One of my favorite scenes from the movie “Something’s Got to Give” is when Erica Berry (Dianne Keaton) is talking to her daughter, Marin, (Amanda Pete) on the bottom of the boardwalk steps, looking out into the ocean. Erica is in tears because she’s had her heart broken by Harry (Jack Nicholson), and Marin asks her mom why she is crying. The remaining conversation goes something like this:

Erica: I'm in love. Ain't it great?

Marin: Oh, Mom. I hate this. Now do you get my theory about all this? You’ve got to self-protect.

Erica: Listen to me. You can't hide from love for the rest of your life because maybe it won't work out... maybe you'll become unglued? It's just not a way to live.

Marin: Are you telling me this is good? What's happened to you?

Erica: I let someone in, and I had the time of my life.

Marin: I've never had the time of my life.

Erica: I know, baby. And I say this is from the deepest part of my heart. What are you waiting for?

For me, the connection is there. Maybe I’ll become unglued. Maybe I won’t self-protect and walls will be broken down? That’s part of the process. But, I do believe, as I embark on this journey, and let others in, let yoga in, I will have the time of my life. I’m not waiting any longer.

I started a 30 Day “Light up Winter” challenge with my studio on January 3rd, and just started Baron Baptiste’s Digital 40 Day Revolution on the 7th. I will be writing about my journey and practices through both of these programs, one for accountability, two to remember and record the experience, and three to reflect on the challenges, triumphs and growth that come in the process.

Here's an update of the last few days.
January 2nd – Hour of Power (60 min) with Bethany at DDY

January 3rd – “Light Up Winter” 30 Day Challenge Began – Dave Farmer 20 minute Podcast

January 4th – 20 minute Beach Practice on Land’s End

The view from my mat.

January 5th – Power Vinyasa (90 min) with Shelley at DDY Beaufort

January 6th – Power Basics (75 min) with Erika at DDY

January 7th – Baptiste Digital 40 Days Began - 20 minute Podcast

January 8th – Midday Power (45 min) with Bethany at DDY

It won’t be easy; I may not eagerly come to my mat every day; but I will come. Day after day. For at least 40 days. Through all of this, the 30 day challenge, the 40 day digital revolution, and teacher training, I hope my best self will shine through on and off my mat.

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